collapsing, fading, exploding (death of a friendship)
by whistlingwindtree
Summary: A friendship dies like a star does, collapsing, exploding, fading. A Daisy Johnson centric drabble after the events of Devil Complex.


Daisy felt strangely calm, even as she eyed Fitz. Her hair kept touching the wound site; funny it wasn't bothering her.

He glanced at her, almost belligerently. Expecting a tirade, perhaps?

She leaned against the door jamb, cataloging his features. That scruffy face at odds with the baby-faced Fitz she'd met, years ago. Same curly hair and shirts as pretty blue as his eyes.

"Have you ever been raped?" Daisy crossed her arms.

He froze, as silence descended and enveloped them.

"You didn't have a choice with Aida, did you?" Daisy saw how he flinched at the name. She didn't blame him.

Slowly, he shook his head.

"The greater good is a fucked-up thing," Daisy said conversationally. "When Hive infected me, he took over my mind. And made me do things I didn't want to. For his greater good." Her mouth twisted. "Aida thought she was creating a better world."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm not finished." Daisy straightened up, her chest heaving. "Do I need your permission to continue?"

Fitz's eyes widened.

"I am sorry," Daisy touched her chest, as she walked towards him. "That when my mind was raped, and I had no control over myself, that I hurt you." She clenched her fists. "I know that was hard on you."

Fitz's eyes filled with tears. "I never blamed you for that."

"Yet you brought up that I betrayed the team." Daisy tilted her head. Her heart was hammering in her chest, the sound pounding in her ears. "What did you mean?"

"Er, when you left-"

Daisy laughed, the sound sharp, echoing, filled with pain.

She walked closer.

"I'm so sorry Fitz," Daisy soothed. "That when I hated myself to the point I didn't think I deserved to kill myself, because death would be too good for me, that I wasn't thinking about you. So selfish of me."

"You hurt us when you left," Fitz whispered, his eyes red. "Especially Jemma."

Daisy faltered.

"I know," she admitted. "It wasn't my intention. I thought I was protecting you guys by leaving."

She fell silent, as did Fitz, and the silence this time was almost comforting, as they contemplated each other.

"I won't change the decision I made," Fitz spoke up. "But I hate this. That you hate me."

Daisy exhaled, as her eyes filled with tears.

This was what the end of a friendship looked like.

What saying goodbye to someone she loved so much, that when she was held captive by a monster, and she was supposed to kill him, she fought it with every bit of her being.

And when Fitz had screamed at her, about _his_ pain, when just days before, she'd been begging the Ghost Rider to kill her, she'd hated herself even more for bringing them more heartache.

Daisy dashed away a tear as she had a flash of insight.

She'd told Fitz that he'd brought her back and he did. Because she was accustomed to pain and guilt and bad feelings, she didn't think she deserved kindness, that's why his shouting at Momentum Energy Labs reached her.

Because she thought she deserved it, she listened.

"I don't expect your forgiveness." Fitz was twisting his wedding band. "But we need to move past this. Time is running-"

"No." Daisy interrupted, then took a deep breath. The adrenaline of the confrontation was wearing off, and the room was swimming, her thoughts coalescing.

No, she didn't want to move on and talk about the mission, not when the betrayal was a physical pain behind her ear and in her heart.

She'd been mind raped by Hive, and he blamed her.

She'd been suicidal, and he blamed her.

"Would you really do it again?" Daisy needed to know. "Would you drug me? Restrain me? Slice into me?"

Fitz's cheeks were red. "I've always been honest." He twisted his ring, like a talisman. "Yes."

Daisy choked out a sob.

The death of a friendship was like a star collapsing, exploding, fading.

And when it's gone, what remains will never be the same again.

"You violated me," Daisy's voice shook. "You did to me what Hive did. What Aida did to you. Took away my choice."

Tears were rolling down his face. "I know. But the town-"

"You built that machine to save Jemma!" Daisy screamed. "When you knew it could end the world!"

"You think I don't know that?" Fitz screamed right back. "She is the love of my life! I had to protect her!"

And just like that, the anger flowed out of Daisy.

Love. Of course.

"Thank you," she murmured, wiping her eyes. "For being honest. And thank you, for giving me my powers back."

Fitz cocked his head. Gratitude was the last thing he'd thought he'd hear.

"You're welcome?" His brow wrinkled in confusion.

Daisy's voice was low and clear. "Touch me, or anyone again without their permission," Daisy stared at him. "And I will quake every bone in your body, you disgusting Hydra son of a bitch."

"Daisy, I-"

"I may have done bad things in the past when I was hurting" Daisy moved her hair away from her savaged neck. "But I never rationalized it. Or blamed anyone for it. Think about that."

She strode away, leaving behind the charred ruins of a friendship that had seen its last light.


End file.
